In which my dad accidentally tries to kill me

Last night we had an incident at my house that we have never had in all my years as a diagnosed Celiac. I came home to find my dad mixing up a giant pan of stir-fry for dinner, it smelled awesome and tasted even better. About halfway through my first bowl my mom ask’s what’s in the sauce because we hadn’t had a recipe handy. My dad starts listing off various ingredients “Soy sauce, chili flakes, rice vinegar, oyster sauce-“

Uh Oh. Oyster Sauce. They only sell one brand at the grocery store near us and it definitely has wheat in it. Upon noticing my face my dad starts to panic, “no, no I checked before I used it, I swear!” Truth is he had, there is no allergen statement on the back of the bottle, just a warning ‘made in a facility that also processes peanuts and tree nuts’ . However as any good Celiac knows gluten is found in more than just wheat, so even if something say’s ‘wheat free’ in the allergens it’s still good to read the ingredients. And wheat was in there. Twice.

Unfortunately, once you’ve eaten half a bowl of gluten filled stir-fry, there is nothing to do but treat the symptoms and ride the process out. Online recommendations included everything from charcoal to tequila, but I decided to stick with a few more traditional methods.

For me the ingestion of gluten leads to bloating, cramps and migraines. So I popped a couple of Tums, turned the kettle on to boil, and curled up with a heating pad to try and get through re-typing as many of my notes as possible before things got really bad. After two mugs of hot water and a page of notes I sent my dad to the store for ginger tea.  2 hours, 8 Tums, 6 pages of notes, 5 mugs of tea, and one Imitrex later I was curled up on the couch with my heating pad watching re-runs of Chopped on the Food Network.

Thank goodness I woke up this morning feeling mostly like myself (although I’m still really bloated). I think prompt treatment for your symptoms really is the key to managing accidental glutenating. As for the Oyster Sauce, it’s in the trash 🙂

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